| Chapter
One In five years as a clinical psychologist,
I’ve spent most of that time trying to convince people they’re not crazy. The
truth is, everybody is a little bit crazy; it’s just a matter of degree. Take me, for example: I’m not exactly the
poster lady for mental wellness, and I’m the one treating these people.
I find that scary. Even scarier is the well-dressed,
thirty-something guy threatening to jump from the rooftop of the ten-story North
Atlanta building housing my office. He’s a new patient, referred to me by a psychiatrist
I once dated. Dr. Thad Glazer and I met
while I was working on my doctorate at Emory University. Thad was blond and good
looking and inherited his father’s comfy practice and love for Italian suits.
Our relationship ended when I caught him and his receptionist naked in his hot
tub. Thad limited his practice to medication
management and referred patients to local psychologists for talk therapy, because
he hated listening to people’s problems. He amused himself by sending me the
difficult cases; payback for breaking up with him and later marrying another man.
Even more amusing to Thad was the fact my marriage had hit the skids six months
ago. So that’s how I ended up with Kevin “Wannabe
Jumper” Bosley. And I had promised myself this was going to be a good day. I’d
even dressed in my new yellow, white, and blue daisy skirt and yellow camisole.
Just seeing it in the store had lifted my spirits. “Listen
to me very carefully, Kevin,” I said, taking a step toward him while carefully
maintaining a respectful distance, in case he decided to take me with him. That,
and the fact that I am terrified of being on rooftops of tall buildings. “You
do not want to do this. Suicide is never the answer.” “Back
off, Dr. Holly!” he shouted. “You come any closer, and I’m bailing.” Beside
me, my best friend and receptionist, Mona Epps, was frantically trying to reach
Thad on her cell phone. I had pled, bribed, and tried to bargain with Kevin,
to no avail. Thad was my last hope. Despite being somewhat superficial and self-centered,
Thad usually came through for me. “You must
really hate your mother,” Mona said, tossing Kevin a dirty look as she punched
numbers on the phone. Kevin blinked. “I don’t
hate my mother. What makes you say that?” “Who
do you think they’ll call to the morgue to identify your body, you idiot! It’s
always the mother.” “You have no right
to call me an idiot,” he told her. “You don’t know what I’ve been through.” “Oh,
puh-lease,” Mona said. I shushed Mona. She
was not the most diplomatic person in the world. Plus, she was annoyed as hell
that she had broken a heel on her new Pradas as we’d chased Kevin six floors up the stairwell in
our attempt to keep him from jumping. Fortunately, Mona’d had the foresight to
grab her cell phone, which was a good thing in case we needed to call nine-one-one,
but by then it would be too late. “Listen
to me, Kevin,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, so it would appear I was
in control of the situation, even though my knees felt like tapioca pudding.
“You can jump and put an end to your troubles, but what about the people who love
you? What about those you leave behind? They’ll be devastated. They’ll blame
themselves.” Kevin gave me an odd look. Someone
who is depressed enough to take his or her own life does not give much thought
as to how it will affect others. “Thad’s on
the line,” Mona said, offering me the phone. “Hold
on, Kevin,” I called out, taking the phone from her. “I’ve got Dr. Glazer--”
“I’m not talking to that egotistical bastard,”
he said. “Besides, this is his fault.” “Thad,
I have a situation here with Mr. Bosley, the patient you sent me,” I said quickly.
“I could really use your help.” On the other
end, Thad made a tsking sound. “Now, Kate, you know the rules.” I
blinked. “What?” “The rules, the rules,”
he said. My frayed nerves were close to snapping.
When Thad and I had been an item, he’d always insisted on knowing what I had on
beneath my skirt. It was a game between lovers that Thad still liked to play,
despite our split. “Stop kidding around, Thad,” I said. “This is an emergency.” “You
either play by the rules or we don’t play at all.” I
heard a smile in his voice. “You are so childish!” I hissed, knowing he would
find my annoyance even more amusing. “I’ve got a man ready to throw himself off
the roof of my office building, and you expect me to describe my underwear?”
Silence on the other end of the line. If Thad were present, I would have personally
drop-kicked his ass off the top of the building. I
turned and whispered into the phone. “Okay, dammit, they’re black bikini, cut
high on the thigh and edged with red lace. Satisfied?” “Give
me a moment,” Thad said. “I want to envision you in them.” I
gritted my teeth. It would never occur to Thad that I was lying. He was the
last man on earth I’d tell I was wearing plain white and very boring panties.
I mean, why waste my Victoria’s Secrets when I presently wasn’t having sex? “Are
you done yet?” I said. “Okay, what’s the problem?”
he asked smoothly. “Hello? Did you not hear
me? Kevin Bosley is threatening to jump off the roof of my building!” Thad
sighed. “Damn, Kate, I send you a patient, and he tries to kill himself on the
very first visit?” “This is not my
fault! He’s angry because the medication you put him on--” I paused and lowered
my voice again. “It’s interfering with his sex life. Now, you need to get your
butt over here and talk him out of jumping.” “It’s
not his medication, Sweetheart. He was having problems getting it up when he
came to see me. I put him on a mild antidepressant with few side effects, but
he needs to give it time to kick in.” He paused. “Look, even if I didn’t have
a tennis date, it would take forever to get to your office with the traffic.
You’re going to have to deal with this on your own, Kate.” I
looked at Kevin. His arms were crossed, one foot tapping impatiently. “Why me?”
I asked. “Why didn’t you send him to his medical doctor? How do you know it’s
not a physical problem?” “It’s not a physical
thing. His wife left him for his best friend because their sex life was zero.
Then, to make matters worse, he was fired from his job. I think he might have
issues that led to his poor performance in the sack.” “What
kinds of issues?” “Who knows? Could be guilt.
You’d be surprised how many guys let that sort of thing get in the way.” Oh,
great, I thought. Another guilt-ridden man who couldn’t get an erection because
he just knew God had seen him whacking off to dirty pictures when he was
fifteen years old. “Why didn’t
you talk to him about all this?” I whispered. “Kate,
you know how it is. Guys don’t like telling other guys they can’t get it up.
I mean, if you were some guy with a limp dick, would you want to discuss it with
somebody like me?” He laughed. “I can’t relate to that sort of thing.
By the way, if he jumps your insurance will skyrocket.” “That’s
not funny, Thad.” “Hey, don’t be like that.
How about I make it up to you over dinner tonight? You could come to my place
for steaks.” I knew steaks at Thad’s house
meant getting naked in his hot tub as well. “I’m married,” I said. “Not
for long,” he reminded me. “It could be a pre-divorce celebration.” Thad
didn’t get it. My upcoming divorce did not inspire thoughts of cocktails and
party favors. It hurt like hell to think about it so I kept shoving it aside
in my head, sort of like moving an old chair into a corner because it didn’t fit
in the room. I didn’t want to think about it, and I especially did not want to
discuss it with the man on the other end of the line. “Good-bye,
Thad.” I hung up and regarded Kevin. “Well?
What did he say?” Kevin asked. I stood there
for a moment. “Dr. Glazer wanted me to tell you that you have every reason to
be optimistic, because he used to have your problem and I was able to cure him.” | 
